Understanding Social Exclusion and How to Be More Inclusive
Social exclusion is something all of us will be familiar with, going as far back as our high school days.
Many of us may be unintentionally guilty of excluding others. Remember the sting of what it felt like to be excluded during those awkward high school years?
As adults, we should know better. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.
Social exclusion is a subtle, passive-aggressive form of bullying. It happens at work, at the gym, at networking events, amongst family and friends and way more often than anyone would like to admit.
Why do people exclude others?
To be fair, sometimes excluding other people is not something that people do intentionally.
We might walk into a room full of people we don’t know, and riddled with our own fear, gravitate to what and who we know. Rather than put ourselves in an awkward position to chat with a stranger.
Prejudice, perceived threat, social status, personality clashes, and power struggles are also some of the reasons that people exclude others.
Intentionally excluding someone is a powerful, intense act of rejection.
We are not obliged to get along with everyone. But it costs us absolutely nothing to acknowledge and show respect, warmth and inclusivity to others.
Social exclusion in groups
Being excluded from a group, whether it is a group of friends, work colleagues or at an event with strangers, can be particularly challenging. It can make people feel very confused and anxious and as if their sense of belonging has been threatened. It can make people feel like they don’t matter.
Whether it’s intentional or not, being left out sends a painful message.
Navigating exclusion
Realising that you have been left out can bring up lots of emotions and it can feel like a rising panic in the heat of the moment.
Before making a permanent decision about someone or a group of people, allow yourself to work through all the emotions that come up first. It may be helpful to speak to someone you trust to get their perspective on the situation, too.
Who you surround yourself with matters
When you can be selective about who you spend your time with, choose wisely. If you are spending time with people who make you feel like you don’t matter, don’t be afraid to end the relationship, or friendship, or consider looking for another job.
Seek new groups. Ones where you can build positive, uplifting relationships with others who want to help you grow rather than try to hold you back through their own limitations.
How to be more inclusive
Excluding people can leave them feeling isolated and hurt. We don’t have to like everyone, and we don’t have to get on with everybody, but it costs us absolutely nothing to show respect, warmth and inclusivity to others.
It just takes one person to set the bar high or low and the rest will follow.
Next time you are in a group setting, or you see a new face at work, take the leap. Say hi, begin a conversation, or offer a seat.
Sometimes overcoming your fear of the way someone looks or sounds and being open-minded can give you the courage to start a conversation that could be the start of a wonderful, lifelong friendship.
You will never know until you try.